Tragedy all around us

Las night in Las Vegas a gunman open fired on a concert killing at last count 58 people and wounding over 500 . The last month has seen devastating earthquakes in Mexico, Hurricanes in Texas, Florida and Puerto Rico as well as other islands. Fires ravage many states

People are struggling all around us. Some of us have been lucky enough to not have been directly affected by any of these. Some of us may have close family and friends affected. Many feel a sense of fear and hopelessness at the tragedies that surround them. We want to help. Where can we send money, food, clothing? Where can we donate? Where can we help.

 Maybe we can offer counseling services, or maybe you are a medical professional. Maybe you can donate blood. WE just want to be able to help relieve the suffering. People drove for hours with their boats to Texas to help people trapped by flood waters. Men left their families from all over the country to head to areas where they could help provide security, Power, Search and rescue.

How about those around us who are are struggling . hanging on by a thread.... In need of a life line

Many individuals  who are LGBTQ and especially those who identify with the Mormon faith are facing heartache of epic proportions lately. It seems as if on every turn there is some new thing that "quakes , or floods" their very existence.

THe church stands behind a Baker who refuses to make a Gay couple a cake. They say it is religious freedom. Well, so If someone decides they don't want to serve a Mormon at their establishment would that be religious freedom too?  Yes as businesses, you should have the right to refuse service to someone, but on the base of purely because of who they are?
Black, Latino, Gay?
How about Jewish?
Haven't we as a society come farther than that?

Why can't we just give an honest service to a paying courteous patron?

They are told repeatedly that this is a trial of this life and that in the next life they will be " free from this challenge"  And we wonder why they are killing themselves in droves.

They are told that as long as they don't " act on it " they are ok.
"Its just like those who never get a chance to marry in this life, They must follow the law of Chastity as well."    
Well, no not really. That person who hasn't been able to marry  can date, Hold hands, heck they can even Kiss someone.  They can have a relationship with another person. LGBT individuals are not afforded that option.

In Scripture it tells us it is not good for many to be alone. Men are that they might have Joy.

But we are to Believe that this only applies to Gods straight children?

I don't know what the answers are to many of these perplexing questions, but I do know this.
God loveth ALL his children. WE are taught that the first and great commandment is to Love God with all our Heart and the second is like unto it. Love thy neighbor as thyself.

This means it is not our place to judge them. Not our place to decide if they should be able to have the same rights as we do. Not our place to decide if they deserve our Love and friendship.
Now I am not always perfect at this, I am still learning and growing. But I think having a Gay son has taught me more about unconditional Love than I could have ever imagined.
IT has taught me to Look to my Savior as a guide to how I should treat others.

Their are those among us who are the casualties of the barrage of  insensitive comments, bullying, Terrorizing, and isolation.

So as you think about how you can help these victims of these tragedies around you, Look around at those who are facing these other tragedies . Think about how you can love a bit louder. To follow up those words of " I love everyone" with some actions.

Maybe start with just listening a bit more.
Ask them to tell you their perspective.... Their story.
Listen, Really listen.  
Practice having Empathy.

Just be a friend.
You don't have to agree with them.
Maybe they don't like that you like the Raiders ?
But they will still be a friend to you


Did we ask before we gave blood if it was going to a black, Jewish or Gay  person?  No
 WE just give it freely for anyone who needs it.

Do we ask if our donation is going to help a " Mexican" ?  Of course not
WE just want to help those who are in need.

We as members of the United States Live in one of the greatest countries in the World. Our cities have rallied around others who are in the war zones and in need of help. Don't look so far outside your backyard to think there aren't some right there.

Maybe you could consider Joining Mormons Building Bridges On Oct 20th for the annual Pride Parade, where you can Show your Love for some of Gods Children who could really use it right now.
THAT my friends is what the Savior would have us do. I think it is i these times of disaster and tragedy that true greatness can come. Maybe in the wake of these tragedies we can just look at each other as Human beings, who want and need love.

****AS a side note I am so proud to call Vegas my home . To see people in droves coming out to help. Lines of over 6 hours to give blood, Over 1.3 million raised for the victims. Uber and Lyft drivers offering rides for free to help those affected. First responders running in while everyone else was running out. Doctors and nurses from everywhere jumping in to help however is needed. Over 2500 listing for people of places to stay. Food being donated to Ronald MC Donald house and Red cross in droves. Way to step up and Bear one anothers burdens Las Vegas!!!

LOVE LOUD

On saturday August 26th, I had the opportunity to attend the LOVE LOUD festival in Orem Utah. 
I just happened to luck out that we were already going to be up in Provo to attend the temple with my Daughter in law, so I jumped on to see if there were any tickets available and there were. 

Now it started out rough when we had to stand in line for about and hour and 45 minutes just to get in, but once we got in, and found a place to settle in , it was truly an overwhelming site .  I have not attended many concerts, and the ones I did were very different (as they should have been.)  I love Imagine Dragons and Neon trees, and enjoy their music. BUT , This was not just about their music though. This was a festival of people coming together to raise awareness and open the dialogue that there are people in our midst, especially youth who feel Alone, unloved, Ostracized and  some even unwelcome in their own families.  These youth are committing suicide at alarming rates especially in Utah. 

Now there are varying statistics, but even one is too many  One  study released In June of 2016 states that Utahs suicide rates have TRIPLED since 2007, and are double the national average .Here is one article   HERE

Why is this you ask??  Good question. 

I don't think it has anything to do with the elevation or the fact that Utahns move alot.  I think we really have to look at the pressure that comes from being a part of a culture that is so stringent and does not accept you unless you fit into a very specific mold. 

Now I have been a member all my life, and I too have had  feelings of not being enough, or not feeling like I fit in. 
Luckily for me though I am not Gay , so it was a bit easier to overcome this. 

I was never told I could not find joy in this life , or that I could not  marry someone I love. I was not told that if I did, and had children, that they could not be a part of the gospel until they were adults and they would have to disavow me as their parent.   
I was not told over and over I was a sinner, but they would "love me anyway" as if they were not " a sinner" 

Aren't we all sinners? 

I was never told that this challenge was just for this life, and it would all be fixed in the next life . 
Well,  .... No wonder they are killing themselves. 

Dan Reynolds ( of Imagine Dragons)  decided he was not going to be silent on this issue. He decided to use his voice to bring up the dialogue. To open the conversation about LGBTQ indiviuals and the challenges they face. They are wonderful human beings who deserve Love, respect and the same rights and privileges we all enjoy.  They need not ever feel alone. 

LOVE LOUD is the name they chose for this event.

LOVE as described in the dictionary 
    
  (1) :  strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties
:  warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion   :  unselfish loyal and benevolent , concern for the good of another:         such as (1) :  the fatherly concern of God for humankind           (2) :  brotherly concern for others  :  a person's adoration of God
LOUD as described in the dictionary     marked by intensity or volume of sound  :  producing a loud sound
So if we look at our interactions with those who may be different , or don't fit our mold ,  Do we show affection or kinship  with great intensity? Are we really showing love if they don't Feel ( or hear ) it? 
Is it LOUD enough that they hear it? 

Do we try to live up to our baptismal covenant to " bear one anothers burdens" Comfort those who stand in need of comfort?
I had the privilege of spending a few hours in the MAma dragons hugging booth talking to individuals, and giving out hugs. I had many individuals talk about how they have felt left out and unloved by their peers and family because they are Gay. I watched a mother tear up as I talked to her about my journey and how I ended up there to help support my son and others like him. Her 14 year old daughter had recently come out and she was trying to figure out how to navigate it all for her. Her family is not very supportive. She said " I love my daughter for who she is , and why should she have to change to fit in?"  She is exactly right. It doesn't mean that this poor mothers heart is breaking for what lies ahead for her sweet daughter. I had another young man talk to me about how to better  help and support  his brother who is gay . HE asked lots of questions as to how he can help his mom, and what resources are available. It was just a few hours of my time, but it was the best feeling in the workd to be on a mission to help others on this journey we call life.  NOt that I have it all figured out, but because I can listen and have empathy for their situation, together we can help each other through the good times and the bad.    
Yes, LOVE LOUD was all about our LGBT brothers and sisters, but it can be related to so many other situations we are facing in our country today. The riots in Charlottesville, the refugee crisis all over the world. The immigration issues at the borders in Arizona and Texas.   
From an article in   "Deseret News article"Today, 17,000-plus people are coming out to say, you know what, we may have different beliefs, we may come from different backgrounds, different religions, different politics, different cultures, different ethnicities, but none of those things matter. We all can agree our LGBTQ youth need us." Dan Reynolds 
WE need to continue the conversation. We need to be courageous and stand up and make our voice heard.
 We need to walk with our eyes and hearts wide open. Pray each day for Heavenly Father to help us see those around us that may need a Smile, a hug, a lunch,  or maybe even something more that we can help facilitate.  
Know the numbers for the suicide   Hotline   1-866-488-7386 There are other resources such as    Encircle Provo  Which is expanding into other areas. Maybe you could volunteer in some way? Be a friend . Be a good neighbor
In Nephi chapter 11 vs. 16-17 when Nephi is asking questions of an angel,  This is the dialogue which follows 
 And he said unto me: Knowest thou the condescensionof God?

17 And I said unto him: I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things.

Neither do I know the meaning of all things, but We do know that God loves his children. ALL OF THEM!

WE don't have to understand every bit of doctrine to be kind and loving . Its ok to have questions, to not understand how this is all going to play out. 

MANY , MANY of us do. That is ok too. WE can still move forward in Love . We will never be wrong by erring on the side of Love and compassion.

It is our responsibility as children of GOD to also LOVE His children.

 To help in whatever way we can 

What does that mean to you ?? Only you can answer that.

There are many Pride festivals coming up , maybe you can step out of your comfort zone and LOVE LOUD by showing up . 

By making a statement that even though you are a Mormon,Christian, Jew, or however you classify yourself ,  that you will not judge them.That you will be their friend. You will walk with them. Talk with them, and make sure they are not alone.  

IF we could all just strive to  LOVE Better ,I tihnk so many of the issues we face today would go away. These are just my thoughts, as I contemplate the events of this weekend.

 As a mother of a Gay son, it fills my heart with joy to see an  event such as this , and see so many who are willing to strive to Love a little better to maybe even

 LOVE LOUD !!  

You never now, you might just save a life

 

My wish

This past week, my husband and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary. At some times it seems like yesterday , and other times it seems like forever ago.
Nevertheless,  it is a milestone for us. WE had the opportunity to go to Hawaii ( grandma stayed with the two younger girls and the dogs.) IT was a much needed break for us.

After a few days, I was overcome with a profound sense of sadness for my son Tyler and all the other LGBTQ+ individuals who are taught that in order to remain part of Gods kingdom, they must forego any type of personal relationship . Oh they can have "friends" but they can't date or have a committed relationship or marry even though it is legal in many places.

This is "acting on their feelings"
What happened to " Adam fell that men may be . Men are that they might have JOY!!""

Heavenly Father wants us to be happy
 In several articles published Here   and Here,

They discuss the issue of lack of connection and lack of human contact and its detrimental effects. If children die in orphanges because of the lack of human contact and interraction, don't you tihnk that could have negative effects on an adult as well?

As human beings we long to be loved, accepted, touched,and included.
Yes, some of this can come from our parents and other family members, but at some point as those family members move on to their own fulfilled relationships, our LGBTQ+ memebers are left alone and isolated.

Sitting on a beach likes this, watching the sun rise on a new day  and being able to just relax and hold hands with the person who means the most to you in this life. 

That is connection 

Being able to share your hopes and dreams, and even your fears. 

So many jump to the issue of that  three letter word... SEX

It really has very little to do with that. 

Brene' Brown states..

“Connection is why we're here; it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. The power that connection holds in our lives was confirmed when the main concern about connection emerged as the fear of disconnection; the fear that something we have done or failed to do, something about who we are or where we come from, has made us unlovable and unworthy of connection.”

Human beings thrive on connection

It breaks my heart to think that Tyler and so many others like him have grown up being taught the gospel and have tried to live within those perameters and now find themselves facing a life of disconnection. 

Not from us as his parents , or even his siblings, 

but from a life of sharing those moments of joy when you buy your first house , 

or bring home your first little boy. 

The frustration when your husband doesn't do things exactly like you thougth he should and you argue and work through it.

Calling to tell them you got that new job!

Trying that new meal your spouse made and pretending it was great.

The joy of watching your children excell in their talents. 

Enjoying a quiet night snuggled on the couch watching your favorite tv show.

Sharing a favorite treat together .

Deciding together whether or not to buy a new car or just keep fixing the old one.

Attending church together and finding peace in your Faith and worship. 

Taking family vacations, 

Late nights talking about life, and children ,

and just having a best friend by your side. 

WHY??? 

Why are our children told they are exempt from this in their life? 

I just don't understand this. 

My wish is for Tyler ( and all others)  to find someone to love and who will love him in return. To have all those things that I have experienced, both good and bad in the last 30 years,

 and those things in the years to come.

To be able to go to Hawaii, or wherever he chooses and celebrate his anniversary , enjoying the sights and sounds that this beautiful world has to offer, ... with his best friend and companion. 

On one of our last days in Hawaii we saw this rainbow.Its a bit hard to see in the picture. 

I felt this was a sign for me that Heavenly Father knew my heart was heavy about this.

That he was aware of me,   and TYLER! 

 I loved being in that beautiful place with my sweetheart,

 and enjoying the sights and sounds of Hawaii, 

but I could not help but wish that things were different for Tyler. 

I couldn't help but wish that he did not have to be burdened with this dilemma of feeling torn between two worlds. 

I imagine that it is much like this view

Seeing all that the gospel had to offer , and recognizing that for his health and sanity he has to view it from a distance. To find out how to reinvent what life looks like for him. 

Trying to find the beauty and the joy that is right there around him even though he sees the beauty that is now far off in the distance. 

Trying to hold onto his faith and testimony and relationship that he has with his Savior. 

Im sure many times feeling as if he is totally all alone out there on that vista in the distance. 

Hoping that one day he will understand this plan that God had for him. 

For me, I cherish the blessings I have and try my best to understand and walk with faith. I cherish the tender mercies I have experienced in my quest for answers. I remember the pains and frustrations of not getting the answers I seek.  

Some days are ok, and some days or weeks are really hard. 

 I want my children to all be happy and fulfilled in this life.

Isn't that what every parent wants? 

As parents of LGBTQ+ individuals, ,it is a whole different set of worries. So many lose hope and feel the burden is too great to bear. We must rally around them with love and acceptance for whatever path they choose here. 

God will be their judge, and I beleive he is way more merciful and understanding than 

we could ever imagine.  

I believe he will hold them in his arms and let them cry and explain it all to them.

 I beleive he will understand their hurt and anger . 

Until then,.... This mother has a wish for all of these individuals to be able to find the joy and happiness that they deserve. That they can be a part of their work , or school or church community , without hiding who they are. That they can love and be loved. That they can share their god given gifts with all of us around them. 

That if they choose they can find a mate and help bring up some of the most vulnerable children out there in the foster care system. 

That others will be able to see them as God's beautiful children, and look for ways to help them on their journey , than be judge and jury of  what they feel should be pointed out.