What is my foundation

Many people ask me the question of how do I reconcile my membership in the church with my disagreement with some of the policies and actions they take,  specifically against the LGBT community.

That is a good question, and for the most part I have never really been able to answer that effectively. It is a very tough place to be. A church I love and have served my whole life, and policies that hurt and ostracize my son and so many others I have met over the last 4 years .

Yesterday in church though I had a bit of an answer come to me. As the speaker read a verse from

Helaman chapter 5 Vs. 12  And Now my sons,remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our redeemer , who is Christ, the Son of God that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea his shafts in the whirlwind, yea when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you , it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation upon which if  men build they cannot fall.  

This was one of those moments when I knew the Lord was answering me. Christ is my foundation. This is Christs gospel here on the earth, but it is run by men. Yes they are prophets, but they are human men and thus,  are not perfect.  I do not think they are trying to be mean or hurtful, but I do think that there are things that they are struggling with , and much like the situation with blacks and the Priesthood, they are going with what they think is best at the time.

That does not necessarily make it any easier as a mother of a Gay son, and a person who is actively involved in supporting and helping those in that community.  I have seen first hand the devastation that this impossible situation has caused many. I have talked with mothers who have lost their children to suicide because they thought it would be better for them to be dead and on the other side , as it has been taught that they won't be gay in the next life.

I personally do not believe that. 

I have received personal witness that my son is exactly as our Heavenly Father made him to be. HE loves him and is concerned for him. He sent him to our family because he knew we would love him and support him and help him navigate this difficult journey. I believe that these LGBT individuals are some of the most valiant and strong spirits, as they knew what they would face when they came here to earth and they willingly did it.

I think the real test is for the rest of us.

 How are we going to treat them? 

How are we going to reach out and serve some of the "least of these" ?

AS I think back, this continues on the thoughts I had in my previous post  Are we really Christians

I attend Church because I love my Savior. I am eternally grateful for all he has done for me. I take the sacrament to renew my covenant I made with HIM . To take upon myself his name, to bear one anothers burdens, to mourn with those who mourn, and comfort those who stand in need of comfort. 

I do my best to fulfill my calling because I know that is what HE wants and expects of me. 

I know he loves me. I know he loves ALL of my children, even when they are disobedient and won't do their dishes or clean their room. 

I know that the Savior is mindfull of those who are struggling and can't see a way out. For those who are hurting so badly that they see no other way to peace but to take themselves from this life and take their chances it will be better on the other side.

I love this picture and what it represents. They savior kneeling down to heal and comfort the woman who was taken in adultery. She recognized the power of the Savior and looked to him for redemption and healing and he freely offered it. It was no one elses place to judge and condemn her. Only he knows her heart, and he willingly offers healing.

I too am not prefect, just ask my kids .

But everyday I pray to my Heavenly Father and ask him to guide me in what he would have me do. Where can I be of service. It has taken me to many places I would never have imagined.

But I can say with a firm conviction that I am doing what he wants me to do, 

As I reach out and do my best even when I too am afraid and confused,  and sometimes even angry, I feel the peace and comfort come of knowing I am the Lords hands and heart here on earth administering to some of his precious children. 

That it is ok to have questions and not have all the answers.

That sometimes it is important to just be obedient until the answers come.That I can find strength and comfort in knowing that my foundation is sure.

 
Sometimes those mighty winds that swirl around us come from our own congregations. The Gospel is true, but it is run by imperfect people who make up his Church.
 If we build our foundation on the institution that is the church, it is much more difficult, but If we build on the foundation of Christ and his gospel, we will always be safe.  WE can find a steady footing on that foundation fo the Savior even when the church seems to be tossing us about.

In  Moroni 10:  20

Wherefore, there must be faith; and if there must be faith there must also be hope; and if there must be hope there must also be charity.

21 And except ye have charity ye can in nowise be saved in the kingdom of God; neither can ye be saved in the kingdom of God if ye have not faith; neither can ye if ye have no hope.

I have Hope in my Savior that somehow this is all going to work out,
 I try everyday to exercise Faith,  and develop and show more Charity.
Thankfully we have the atonement that allows us to start over again and again. So for now that is how I move forward each day.
That is what my foundation is.

In 2Nephi 26:33  Our Savior invites us “to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female; … all are alike unto God.” 

Because I believe

I would not consider myself a writer, but I do find this is a good way to Journal( of sorts) and share my thoughts however jumbled they may be.  I have thought a lot lately about WHY  I do what I do. With the SCOTUS decision and subsequent  fallout, it gives me pause to think. 

What do I want people to remember me for?
 a Good mom, a good friend .
 A loving wife. A teacher, a helper,
a good friend.
 That I was a follower of Christ.
That I was kind

Kindness has many synonyms—love, service, charity. But I like the word kindness because it implies action. It seems like something you and I can do. Kindness can be shown in so many ways.

Some of my favorite examples of kindness come from what Jesus did. He spent his ministry searching for the weary, the sick, the poor, and the lonely, that he might show kindness toward them.

The book of Mark in the New Testament tells us of the Savior’s kind attention to a young girl. Her father was the ruler of the synagogue where Jesus was teaching. Word came to the ruler: “Thy daughter is dead.” (Mark 5:35.) Jesus consoled the father: “Be not afraid, only believe.” (Mark 5:36.) The Savior went hastily to the bedside of the girl and said, “Damsel, I say unto thee, arise.

“And straightway the damsel arose, and walked; for she was of the age of twelve years. And they were astonished with a great astonishment.” (Mark 5:41–42.) And beyond this great miracle, he continued to show his concern by instructing that something should be given to her to eat.

At the Pool of Bethesda , he sought out those who desperately needed him.

There are so many things that I don't have the answers to, but clearly Christ has given me the formula for what he expects of me in relation to others. 

Because I believe,  I have fostered 43 children 2 of whom We have adopted. 

Because I believe,  I attend Church for 3 hours each week and spend time outside of that preparing and serving in my calling as , a JUST SERVE committee member, and Ward choir director .

( which as a side note is a great exercise in patience and long-suffering.) It is very difficult to have a responsibility that is so dependent on others supporting you . 

Because I believe ,  I  volunteer with a program called E-soccer , which provides opportunities for children with special needs to be able to be a part of a soccer team.

Because I believe ,  I volunteer with the Foster parent Champion program to help other foster families and children in our community. 

Because I believe , I help many families at Christmas time to experience a little joy and wonder.

Because I believe ,  I am a member of Mormons Building Bridges and organize a group here in Las Vegas who marches in the pride parade  to show our love and acceptance for the LGBTQ community . It does not mean I may understand or even accept everything they do, but I can show love to them for the Child of God that they are. 

I do not say these things to boast or pat myself on the back. It is merely a realization that as I have followed my heart and the spirit in my life it has naturally lead me to be a partner with my Savior here in this life to help those around me. 

"Many times it is through another person that HE meets our needs."

 There are some who look at some of these activities and find fault with what I do. 

"How can you take your family down there and participate in those awful PRIDE festivities? " 

"You are going to lose your temple recommend for that?" Those people just choose that lifestyle and they will never be happy."  

And of course there are some who don't SAY anything it is just the awkward silence and distance .

I do it because I BELIEVE That is what the Savior expects of me. 

Three years ago when we learned that our son Tyler was gay I had to rethink all of my preconceived notions and ideals about WHAT and WHO gay people were. I was never mean to them , but I clearly was not loving or accepting  to them either. I had to re-examine everything I believed . I realized Tyler did not CHOOSE this, he did not want to be treated differently.He did not wish his life to be turned upside down and send him on a path that was so different from everything he had been taught growing up in the Mormon church. He was the same great kid he had always been, we just now knew a little bit more about him. And if he was this wonderful person who was gay, I bet all those others were just as wonderful too. As I got to know them and learn of their pain and struggles , my heart began to change and I felt a great desire to be there for them. Especially those who had been disowned by their own families. IF I could be instrumental in saving just one life because I was kind , then that is what I would do. The judgement I have faced is nothing compared to the judgement that these individuals face on almost a daily basis. I have many others who now call me mom ( some older than myself.) they know they can talk to me and tell me anything from the small little triumphs of their day to their deepest darkest despairs . They know that they are not alone and that someone cares for them. There are many moms just like me out there trying to make a difference for these individuals who are cast aside by so many.

We all make choices everyday and those are largely based on our belief system. 

Because I believe that exercise is good, I go to the gym to workout, etc etc. 

Many of us profess to believe in Christ yet our actions and words may not always convey that. 

These things might not be what you feel impressed or lead to do, maybe it is helping at your childs school, maybe it is volunteering at some other organization in your community. whatever it is, The savior expects us to reach out and be of service.

 HE expects us to be examples of loving and caring. In our baptismal covenant we promise to "mourn with those who mourn, comfort those who stand in need of comfort, and bear one anothers burdens" 

President Ezra Taft Benson tells us that a person who is kind is sympathetic and gentle with others, is considerate of others’ feelings, is courteous in his or her behavior, and has a helpful nature. He goes on to say, “Kindness pardons others’ weaknesses and faults. Kindness is extended to all—to the aged and the young, to animals, to those low of station as well as the high.” 

Sophocles, a great philosopher, said, “Kindness is ever the begetter of kindness.” I remember some simple mottoes of kindness from my youth, such as “I will always try to do and say the kindest things in the kindest way.”

Following is a poem which gives light to the subject: 

I have wept in the night

For the shortness of sight

That to somebody’s need made me blind;

But I never have yet

Felt a tinge of regret

For being a little too kind.

The Church’s affirmation of marriage as being between a man and a woman “neither constitutes nor condones any kind of hostility toward gays and lesbians.” On the contrary, many Church leaders have spoken clearly about the love and respect with which all people are to be treated. Former Church president Gordon B. Hinckley (1910-2008) told members who are attracted to the same sex: “Our hearts reach out to [you]. We remember you before the Lord, we sympathize with you, we regard you as our brothers and sisters.” President Boyd K. Packer affirmed, “We do not reject you. … We cannot reject you. … We will not reject you, because we love you.”

That being said, I cannot help but be grateful for the Privilege extended to all of these precious souls who just want to be in a loving committed relationship with someone they love.That they can be afforded the same rights under the law as you and I take for granted. I have a hard time believing that the Loving Heavenly Father I know expects these children of his to live a life of loneliness and isolation. To never be allowed the opportunity to share those sweet moments that come in the quiet moments we share with our spouses.To never hold hands, and hug that special someone.

 To be told that "in the next life you won't have to worry about that. It will all be made right"  Then we wonder why so many take their lives because their only hope is that it will "all be better in the next life"  It doesn't make sense. and For now we don't have those answers.

 But I KNOW that the Lord loves ALL of his children, and he wants ALL of them to have joy.

HE wants ALL of them to return to him.  He has a plan for ALL of his children.

In D&C 137:9  For I, the Lord, will judge all men according to their works, according to the desire of their hearts.

 This is something only the Lord can Judge. We do not know the desires of their heart. 

No act of kindness is ever wasted. You cannot do a kindness too soon.

 Acting kindly can change the giver and the receiver for good. I do not write this to find fault with you. That is between you and the Savior. I am merely expressing my beliefs and my motives for Why I do what I do, and maybe it will strike a chord with you . That you can look at the WHY in your life. Maybe you will not change anything, or maybe you will do some things different.
Maybe if you live in Vegas you will come join us on Sept 18th as we march in the pride parade and you can feel the spirit that exists there as you go about your Fathers business to show love and kindness to a few of his precious children who have felt belittled, ostracized and cast out.

The gospel of Jesus Christ is based on love, respect and agency. Mormons believe that all humans have inherited strengths, weaknesses, challenges and blessings and are invited to live, through the help and grace of God, the principles revealed by Jesus Christ. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints maintains that “God’s universal fatherhood and love charges each of us with an innate and reverent acknowledgment of our shared human dignity. We are to love one another. We are to treat each other with respect as brothers and sisters and fellow children of God, no matter how much we may differ from one another.”http://mormonsandgays.org/

I am surely not perfect and I have many faults, but each day I strive to do my best and to Live worthy to have the spirit in my life so that I can be lead .

I Know that judgments will come from many again as I am vocal about these things, but Because I Believe,  I will continue to do as I feel prompted by my Savior.

To show Love whenever and wherever I can.