We are drowning

This past week has been pretty difficult to say the least. On Thursday evening Nov 5th, news broke about the new "policy " regarding same sex couples and their children.I understand that the media can sensationalize things, SO at first I thought maybe it was some kind of Hoax. Sadly it was not.

 Clarification has come  that did ease some of the damage of the policy , In that those who already are "on the path" may continue. They will not have those things taken away from them. It also says that if their "primary residence " is not with the Gay family member then they are ok as well, But they have to disavow, 
( to disclaim knowledge of, connection with, or responsibility for; disown;) that parents relationship. They will never even be allowed to ever live with them.All others will have to wait until they are 18, and then they still have to disavow the practice of Same sex marriage,( the relationship) and may not ever reside with that parent. Which in some countries will be very difficult, as it is very common for children to live with their family well into their adult years.

Surely seems as if we are trying to destroy a family relationship.

We are drowning

We get that they are now drawing the line in the sand that same sex marriage is a grievous sin, but to extend that to their children? If they are a straight young man or woman, I don't think they are going to have any temptation to enter a same sex marriage, so they would not be participating in that sin.It should be just like anything else. They know the word of Wisdom, they know they should be honest in their dealings, They know the law of chastity, and they agree to follow those commandments. SO why must they "disavow" this particular sin.

So if a heterosexual parent is , embezzling, committing crimes of any kind, maybe involved in pornography, thefts, Infidelity or any "other sin" that is ok, The children are still perfectly fine to live with that parent, and enjoy the blessings of the gospel.?



IT clearly does not seem as if this is a fair and loving policy. It has shaken many of us parents, and even some who have no specific ties to the LGBT community , to our very core. As we have posted comments and articles asking for love and compassion, expressing our hurt and concern, many of us are being hit with Judgments and scorn.

Comments such as "why don't you just leave the church"

or "This is the sifting of the Wheat and the Tares" 

 and "this is like the separating of the  sheep and the goats"

"You just need to have faith and follow the leaders." Or even comments such as " I know it came from God, not the old guys who lead us" as If we had said something like that.

We are drowning ,

We need a life preserver, not someone to send us messages that we aren't doing it right, or someone to stand above as as we sink and yell to us things like"You shouldn't get so close to that"






This for many of us has sent us right back to that very difficult time when our lives were turned upside down as we discovered that one of our family members was gay.That little bubble so many of us live in was burst, and we were left drowning in the midst of despair.

 The pattern to follow , the perfect picture of the Mormon family was gone.

Hope faded. Tears and anger set in.  We had to reevaluate everything we had thought 

What did this mean for them ? for us as a family?

But we held on to hope that somehow this would be made right, That there would be a space for them in the gospel. Surely a loving Heavenly Father would not set his children up for failure.

How could the church we know and love, who teaches all about love and family , turn its back on a whole population of Gods children?  The tears just continue to flow as  we go about our daily tasks and try to make sense of it all. We struggle to walk into our church buildings only to be met with Silence, and rhetoric about how we need to "Stand tall, have courage to stand up against the evils of the world " 

That is my child you are calling evil. 

Can you not see how painful that is? He is not evil . He is a very kind and loving person. He is a hard worker and does his best to try and help those around him. To further the pain, its not even just about him.

 It is the many other LGBT people that I know and Love you are talking about. These individuals have to deal with more than you could ever imagine at the hands of others who want to judge and discard them. Have you had to sit with a mother after her child has committed suicide because of the bullying he has experienced? Have you had to worry for hours when you cannot reach someone you know is in total despair and might take his life. Have you sat and listened to a woman talk about feeling so alone and isolated because the church she loves and served a mission for now calls her an apostate just because she loves another woman? The pain and grief is real. Those of us on the front lines are losing the hope that we carried to help lift them up. When will we too be discarded and called apostates for loving and supporting our LGBT friends and family?

And now that hope is all but gone. We feel abandoned, we feel alone. We grieve for our children and family members whom this is devastating to.We grieve for those whom we have met along our journey, men, women , mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, children of God , who are now very clearly getting the message  that there is no place for you here. There is no place for your children and grandchildren.

Yes, I have watched the video by Elder Christofferson stating it is in the best interest of the children, Does that really make sense to you? In some cases I'm sure it might apply.  

This is what the Savior taught 

Luke 18:16 Jesus said Suffer the little children to come unto me and forbid them not.




3 Nephi 18:32 Nevertheless, ye shall not cast him out of your synagogues , or your places of worship, for unto such shall ye continue to minister; for ye know not but what they will return and repent, and come unto me with full purpose of heart, and I shall heal them; and ye shall be the means of bringing salvation unto them.




Luke 9 Teaches us a powerful lesson about what the Lord expects of us when others don't act they way we think they should . When James and John suggest that they bring fire down on the Samaritans who did not receive them well, HE offers this counsel..

But he turned, and rebuked them, and said, Ye know not what manner of spirit ye are of.


For the Son of man is not come to destroy men’s lives, but to save them. 

Are they really trying to save them, or are they destroying them?

Haven't we been taught to leave the 99 to seek for the one?

Why are we so quick to discard these individuals who have been born with Same sex attraction?

Take a walk in their shoes for a day. Could you live your life never having the companionship of a spouse? Never being able to even go on a date with someone you find interesting? worrying about being fired from your job or thrown out of your living quarters. OR how about even thrown out of your school?  Always having in the back of your mind that you are not worthy, you are defective at best, deviant at worst?

They are in every essence being "thrown out of the boat."

Why as Christians do we feel it is our duty and our right to Point out the faults of those around us?

To make ourselves feel better because their sins our worse than ours?

None of us are perfect. We all have struggles and challenges, We should be helping each other through those difficult times. We are already hurting and yet when we turn to the place that should offer refuge and comfort from the storms, we are battered and tossed about , or shunned.

Can you just mourn with us? Can you share our pain without judgment about our relationship with God? Can we cry on your shoulder? Can you be more careful about your rhetoric when you teach in church? Can you find a way to listen and try to understand?

From a post by Julie De Azevedo Hanks

To my fellow LDS friends...If someone comes to you for support and shares their hurt, sadness, confusion, anger about the recent LDS policy changes may I suggest some things to keep in mind?

1) Just Listen
Don't explain, preach, justify, quote scriptures, pontificate. Just nod your head, try to feel what they are feeling, and non-verbally show that you are engaged.
2) Empathize With Their Emotion
Even if you don't feel the same way or you don't understand why they are feeling the way they do, empathize and reflect back what they are sharing.
3) Don't Frame their Pain as a Lack of Faith
Avoid judgement, blame, shaming, or directive statements like, "If you would just..." or "I thought you had more faith than this" or "You should just..."
4) Acknowledge the Unanswered Questions
It's OK to say that you don't know. Validate the complexity and confusion associated with the situation.
5) Express Your Love
The condescending "bless your heart" pity-love won't work. Look him/her in the eye and share your love for her/him and your faith in the Savior.

Yes, many are resigning and walking away, but many are also staying.
Why you ask?


Because we love our Heavenly Father,

We love our Savior Jesus Christ.

We have testimonies ( although shaken a bit)

It is our church too, and just because we have questions and doubts, it does not negate all the things we do know.

WE feel it a responsibility and duty to follow our baptismal covenants , To bear one anothers burdens, Mourn with those who mourn, and comfort those who stand in need of comfort .

Many of us are mothers,   biologically and spiritually,  to some very precious souls who need us now more than ever.and will stand up for them.

If I can make a difference for even one soul to hang on and fight another day. I will be safe in knowing my Heavenly Father is pleased with me.

The first and great commandment is to Love the Lord they God with all thy heart might mind and strength, and the second is like unto it. Love thy neighbor as thyself.

 Pres. Spencer W Kimball stated. "God does notice us, but it is usually through another person that he meets our needs."

This fulfills both of those commandments. When we Love God , we serve and help others.

We don't belittle them. We don't discard them or turn them away. We think about the things we say and do and how that might hurt someone else.


D&C 137:9 For I, the Lord, will judge all men according to their works, according to the desire of their hearts.


Not one of us can really know the desire of anothers heart .

Leave it to God.

 Just LOVE THEM!




Just love us! 

Reach out a hand to help those who are drowning in despair right now over the loss of hopes and dreams and blessings. You don't have to agree or understand, but you can offer empathy and compassion. We gain empathy when we truly seek to understand someone elses position. And remember just because you don't think you know anyone who is affected by this, you probably are wrong.

I find comfort in the words of Alma to his son Helaman in chapter 36

And now, O my son Helaman, behold, thou art in thy youth, and therefore, I beseech of thee that thou wilt hear my words and learn of me; for I do know that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day.

I am counting on this.

Go and do thou likewise

As related by Luke, a certain lawyer tempted Jesus, saying, “Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” (Luke 10:25.)

In New Testament times a lawyer was the equivalent of a scribe, who was by profession a student and teacher of the law, including the written law of the Pentateuch, and also “the traditions of the elders.”

The Savior responded with a question: “What is written in the law? how readest thou?” (Luke 10:26.)

The scholar responded, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.” (Luke 10:27.)

Jesus said unto him, “Thou hast answered right: this do, and thou shalt live.” (Luke 10:28.)

However, the scholar was not satisfied with so simple a response. Luke records that the learned man, “willing to justify himself,” asked a further question of the Lord, “Who is my neighbour?” (Luke 10:29.) And Jesus answered by telling a story:

 

“A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead.

“And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.

“And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side.

“But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him.

“And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.

“And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee.” (Luke 10:30–35.)

 

We have all heard this story and we say "sure I can help someone who is in need." But do we really understand the depth of what the savior was teaching?

 

If you look in the bible dictionary under Priest and Levite, you will learn that  the work of the ministering in the sanctuary was assigned to the tribe of Levi. The Levite’s duty was to assist the priests in their religious services. Likewise, the essential responsibility of a priest was to serve as a mediator between his people and God by representing them officially in worship and sacrifice.

These could be likened to Home teachers, Elders Quorum presidents, High priest group leaders, Bishops , stake presidents etc. For us women, you could use the equivalent Visiting teacher, Relief society president and so on.

 

The people of Samaria were a mix of Israelites and Gentiles, and they were hated by the Jews. The Jews  would walk hundreds of miles out of the way just so they did not have to pass through Samaria.

This was a group that society had decided was "less than"

 

I think there is great significance in the saviors choice of Characters in this parable.

 

So if we now re look at this, it was the Bishop or stake president that was too busy to stop and help, the home teacher that moved over to the  other side and walked on by. So who was it to stop and help, going way beyond to make sure this man who hated him and what he stood for , was well cared for?

 You insert what that is for you,...... Black, Gay , Hispanic, uneducated , inactive.

 

 

Let me leave this story for a moment. AS the events in Arizona have played out over the last few weeks regarding the Discrimination bill SB1062, this story has played out in real life for me.

Yes, I must qualify that my son is Gay so this hits very close to home, but I know many, many other LGBT individuals as well, who are laying along the roadside watching, their family members, Home and visiting teachers, Bishops,  Stake presidents, and ward members, wave the flag of Religious freedom, and see them hurting and in despair on the road as they walk on by. Those who in the name of "religion" say it is ok to decide that I should not be given the courtesy to shop where I would like, eat where I would like, purchase a home, buy a car and the list goes on. Talk about being kicked while you are down. Sure they could find businesses who would be willing to allow their patronage, but do you have to do that?

Do you have to worry about that? They are children of God too

 

  This could be about anyone , someone who is depressed, someone who is divorced, or maybe has a spouse in jail, someone who lost their kids to the foster care system, someone with tattoos or  someone who struggles with the word of wisdom. You name it there are many who we would not  normally hang out or associate with. Many who may make us feel awkward or uncomfortable.

 Do you think the Samaritan felt a little uncomfortable?

 

So back to the story....

 

The Savior then asked a further question of the scholar, “Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves?” (Luke 10:36.)

The lawyer was caught in his own cunning, but accurately answered, “He that shewed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.” (Luke 10:37.)

 

There it is in a nutshell. Very clear and plain. We are to go and do likewise ,  as the Samaritan ,helping those whom society may tell us we are not supposed to like or associate with.

 Our Neighbours.

  We can bind up their spiritual wounds by rendering needed service, or how about an offering  of friendship and supplying the soul-healing balm of genuine brotherly and sisterly love. We can try and help smooth out the bumps in their journey.

We can do as Alma taught  in Mosiah 18:8-9 

 And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are ^adesirous to come into the ^bfold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;

 9 Yea, and are ^awilling to mourn with those that ^bmourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as ^cwitnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the ^dfirst resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—

The good Samaritan spent the night with his wounded friend and stayed with him until satisfied that he was on his way to recovery. He truly cared about his wellbeing. He was not concerned with his political status,his rights, or what might happen to him in this circumstance, he was just there to show mercy, and I think more importantly Christlike LOVE!

 

I am not perfect at this, but I continue to try. I know many who do not like my opinions or approach, and that is ok, because ultimately the only one I have to answer to is my Heavenly Father and I can honestly say that I have done my best to help those I see along the road.

This is just something that I have learned as I have traveled this journey and opened my understanding to what it really means to be a disciple of Christ. To learn Who my Neighbor is and what my responsibility as a member of his church means.

 

In the end this will bring us life eternal.

What do we need to do to inherit eternal life?   Go and do thou likewise.