The face in the mirror

As I studied for a lesson I had to teach, I came across passages that brought new understanding to me. I guess there is a reason why we are to study and ponder over and over. many times passages I have read will all of the sudden provide new insight .

The lesson was about taking upon ourselves the name of Christ.  It is becoming more of a problem these days that many seem to "profess with their words that they are Christians, and that they are doing it all right , yet their actions speak otherwise. Do our actions bring people closer to Christ or farther away? Do our actions reflect the love of our Savior? .... or something else?

How about the way we talk or the way we dress?

How about our business dealings?
Would our clients or coworkers be surprised to know we were members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints?

The color of our skin or our orientation should not be a deciding factor on how we are treating others.

We are all Gods children

In a story told In Luke chapter 9 starting in vs 53 , the Savior had sent the apostles James and John into Samaria  to make preparations for him. History tells us that the Jews and the Samaritans do not get along ( hence a previous post of the good Samaritan) here. They recognized that he was a Jew and therefore were not accepting of him. James and John being upset about this asked the Lord "if they should send down fire to consume them. "

Now here is the important part.. The lord chastised James and John. HE expected more of them.

HE told them"Ye  know not of what spirit ye are of." Meaning they are allowing the spirit of contention and not the spirit of Love.
Then in vs. 56 For the Son of man is not come to destroy Mens lives but to save them.

Were the Samaritans being rude? probably. Should they have been more loving and Kind? Sure, but the Savior expected his disciples to be the bigger person, to be the good example. Thus the chastisement.
We too as Disciples of Christ are expected to be the bigger person. To be a good example in word and in deed.  To lift others , not destroy.
We are here to help save lives.   We are here to help each other on our journeys.

In D&C 137:9 The Lord further clarifies judgement for us.
For I the lord will judge men according to their works, according to the desires of their hearts.

We can never truly know the desires of anothers heart. Only the Savior knows, and that is how we will be judged.
Why is it we feel as if  everyone should fit into this tiny little box in order to be accepted by our Heavenly Father?  I believe he is way more merciful and understanding than we give him credit for.
HE loves ALL of his children and he has a plan for all of them. Sometimes it is through another person that he meets our needs. 

Do we not have enough things in our own lives to worry about that we feel the need to point out all the flaws we see in another? 
Are we quick to turn our backs on those who come into our circle and say" You do not belong here?"

Are we so busy with the "things" of this world that we don't take the time to look around and see who may be struggling along their path  that we could help. 

Are we teaching our children to be less understanding and accepting because of the things they see us say and do? 
What kind of example are we? 
When you see your reflection what does it reflect   ? What do others see?  
Do they see Love? 
Kindness? 
Compassion? 

I hope that we can all try and learn from the Savior . To gain a greater understanding of what he expects of us, and what he doesn't. 
Each morning and night as we look in the mirror may we reflect on the countenance that we show.

Because I believe

I would not consider myself a writer, but I do find this is a good way to Journal( of sorts) and share my thoughts however jumbled they may be.  I have thought a lot lately about WHY  I do what I do. With the SCOTUS decision and subsequent  fallout, it gives me pause to think. 

What do I want people to remember me for?
 a Good mom, a good friend .
 A loving wife. A teacher, a helper,
a good friend.
 That I was a follower of Christ.
That I was kind

Kindness has many synonyms—love, service, charity. But I like the word kindness because it implies action. It seems like something you and I can do. Kindness can be shown in so many ways.

Some of my favorite examples of kindness come from what Jesus did. He spent his ministry searching for the weary, the sick, the poor, and the lonely, that he might show kindness toward them.

The book of Mark in the New Testament tells us of the Savior’s kind attention to a young girl. Her father was the ruler of the synagogue where Jesus was teaching. Word came to the ruler: “Thy daughter is dead.” (Mark 5:35.) Jesus consoled the father: “Be not afraid, only believe.” (Mark 5:36.) The Savior went hastily to the bedside of the girl and said, “Damsel, I say unto thee, arise.

“And straightway the damsel arose, and walked; for she was of the age of twelve years. And they were astonished with a great astonishment.” (Mark 5:41–42.) And beyond this great miracle, he continued to show his concern by instructing that something should be given to her to eat.

At the Pool of Bethesda , he sought out those who desperately needed him.

There are so many things that I don't have the answers to, but clearly Christ has given me the formula for what he expects of me in relation to others. 

Because I believe,  I have fostered 43 children 2 of whom We have adopted. 

Because I believe,  I attend Church for 3 hours each week and spend time outside of that preparing and serving in my calling as , a JUST SERVE committee member, and Ward choir director .

( which as a side note is a great exercise in patience and long-suffering.) It is very difficult to have a responsibility that is so dependent on others supporting you . 

Because I believe ,  I  volunteer with a program called E-soccer , which provides opportunities for children with special needs to be able to be a part of a soccer team.

Because I believe ,  I volunteer with the Foster parent Champion program to help other foster families and children in our community. 

Because I believe , I help many families at Christmas time to experience a little joy and wonder.

Because I believe ,  I am a member of Mormons Building Bridges and organize a group here in Las Vegas who marches in the pride parade  to show our love and acceptance for the LGBTQ community . It does not mean I may understand or even accept everything they do, but I can show love to them for the Child of God that they are. 

I do not say these things to boast or pat myself on the back. It is merely a realization that as I have followed my heart and the spirit in my life it has naturally lead me to be a partner with my Savior here in this life to help those around me. 

"Many times it is through another person that HE meets our needs."

 There are some who look at some of these activities and find fault with what I do. 

"How can you take your family down there and participate in those awful PRIDE festivities? " 

"You are going to lose your temple recommend for that?" Those people just choose that lifestyle and they will never be happy."  

And of course there are some who don't SAY anything it is just the awkward silence and distance .

I do it because I BELIEVE That is what the Savior expects of me. 

Three years ago when we learned that our son Tyler was gay I had to rethink all of my preconceived notions and ideals about WHAT and WHO gay people were. I was never mean to them , but I clearly was not loving or accepting  to them either. I had to re-examine everything I believed . I realized Tyler did not CHOOSE this, he did not want to be treated differently.He did not wish his life to be turned upside down and send him on a path that was so different from everything he had been taught growing up in the Mormon church. He was the same great kid he had always been, we just now knew a little bit more about him. And if he was this wonderful person who was gay, I bet all those others were just as wonderful too. As I got to know them and learn of their pain and struggles , my heart began to change and I felt a great desire to be there for them. Especially those who had been disowned by their own families. IF I could be instrumental in saving just one life because I was kind , then that is what I would do. The judgement I have faced is nothing compared to the judgement that these individuals face on almost a daily basis. I have many others who now call me mom ( some older than myself.) they know they can talk to me and tell me anything from the small little triumphs of their day to their deepest darkest despairs . They know that they are not alone and that someone cares for them. There are many moms just like me out there trying to make a difference for these individuals who are cast aside by so many.

We all make choices everyday and those are largely based on our belief system. 

Because I believe that exercise is good, I go to the gym to workout, etc etc. 

Many of us profess to believe in Christ yet our actions and words may not always convey that. 

These things might not be what you feel impressed or lead to do, maybe it is helping at your childs school, maybe it is volunteering at some other organization in your community. whatever it is, The savior expects us to reach out and be of service.

 HE expects us to be examples of loving and caring. In our baptismal covenant we promise to "mourn with those who mourn, comfort those who stand in need of comfort, and bear one anothers burdens" 

President Ezra Taft Benson tells us that a person who is kind is sympathetic and gentle with others, is considerate of others’ feelings, is courteous in his or her behavior, and has a helpful nature. He goes on to say, “Kindness pardons others’ weaknesses and faults. Kindness is extended to all—to the aged and the young, to animals, to those low of station as well as the high.” 

Sophocles, a great philosopher, said, “Kindness is ever the begetter of kindness.” I remember some simple mottoes of kindness from my youth, such as “I will always try to do and say the kindest things in the kindest way.”

Following is a poem which gives light to the subject: 

I have wept in the night

For the shortness of sight

That to somebody’s need made me blind;

But I never have yet

Felt a tinge of regret

For being a little too kind.

The Church’s affirmation of marriage as being between a man and a woman “neither constitutes nor condones any kind of hostility toward gays and lesbians.” On the contrary, many Church leaders have spoken clearly about the love and respect with which all people are to be treated. Former Church president Gordon B. Hinckley (1910-2008) told members who are attracted to the same sex: “Our hearts reach out to [you]. We remember you before the Lord, we sympathize with you, we regard you as our brothers and sisters.” President Boyd K. Packer affirmed, “We do not reject you. … We cannot reject you. … We will not reject you, because we love you.”

That being said, I cannot help but be grateful for the Privilege extended to all of these precious souls who just want to be in a loving committed relationship with someone they love.That they can be afforded the same rights under the law as you and I take for granted. I have a hard time believing that the Loving Heavenly Father I know expects these children of his to live a life of loneliness and isolation. To never be allowed the opportunity to share those sweet moments that come in the quiet moments we share with our spouses.To never hold hands, and hug that special someone.

 To be told that "in the next life you won't have to worry about that. It will all be made right"  Then we wonder why so many take their lives because their only hope is that it will "all be better in the next life"  It doesn't make sense. and For now we don't have those answers.

 But I KNOW that the Lord loves ALL of his children, and he wants ALL of them to have joy.

HE wants ALL of them to return to him.  He has a plan for ALL of his children.

In D&C 137:9  For I, the Lord, will judge all men according to their works, according to the desire of their hearts.

 This is something only the Lord can Judge. We do not know the desires of their heart. 

No act of kindness is ever wasted. You cannot do a kindness too soon.

 Acting kindly can change the giver and the receiver for good. I do not write this to find fault with you. That is between you and the Savior. I am merely expressing my beliefs and my motives for Why I do what I do, and maybe it will strike a chord with you . That you can look at the WHY in your life. Maybe you will not change anything, or maybe you will do some things different.
Maybe if you live in Vegas you will come join us on Sept 18th as we march in the pride parade and you can feel the spirit that exists there as you go about your Fathers business to show love and kindness to a few of his precious children who have felt belittled, ostracized and cast out.

The gospel of Jesus Christ is based on love, respect and agency. Mormons believe that all humans have inherited strengths, weaknesses, challenges and blessings and are invited to live, through the help and grace of God, the principles revealed by Jesus Christ. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints maintains that “God’s universal fatherhood and love charges each of us with an innate and reverent acknowledgment of our shared human dignity. We are to love one another. We are to treat each other with respect as brothers and sisters and fellow children of God, no matter how much we may differ from one another.”http://mormonsandgays.org/

I am surely not perfect and I have many faults, but each day I strive to do my best and to Live worthy to have the spirit in my life so that I can be lead .

I Know that judgments will come from many again as I am vocal about these things, but Because I Believe,  I will continue to do as I feel prompted by my Savior.

To show Love whenever and wherever I can. 

Are we really Christians?

So with all the talk in the news lately about Bruce Jenner, and the Supreme court decision on gay marriage. It makes me sad that it seems to bring out the worst in people. Especially people who profess to be Christians.

The definition of Christian

adj ..1. Professing belief in Jesus as Christ or following the religion based on the life and teachings of Jesus.


2. Relating to or derived from Jesus or Jesus's teachings.


3. Manifesting the qualities or spirit of Jesus, especially in showing concern for others.


4. Relating to or characteristic of Christianity or its adherents.


n.


1. One who professes belief in Jesus as Christ or follows a religion based on the life and teachings of Jesus.


2. One who lives according to the teachings of Jesus.











I am afraid many of us are not truly Christians if you look at our actions.We talk the talk but don't walk the walk.

Since when does Agency only apply to those who agree with us? As a Mormon we have 13 articles of Faith that pretty well sum up our beliefs. The 11th articles states " We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege,let them worship how, where, or what they may" the 12th states" We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates,in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law." In these 2 brief statements of what we believe, gives us some guiding principles to follow. Christ gave us the perfect example ,and as Christians shouldn't that be who we emulate? I have taught my children to ask that question" WHAT WOULD JESUS DO? "
Do you think he would be making fun of Bruce Jenner , one of his children? Do you think he would be calling people who are in a Same sex marriage Counterfeit? Do you think he would refuse to provide a service to you because of Who you are? Christ taught us to LOVE. HE taught us not to condemn. Christ taught that "Adam fell that men might be and Men are that they might have Joy" HE wants all of his children to experience Joy . What Joy is there in being alone, isolated, some even hiding who they are because of persecution and bias. Yes, we all want our freedoms, but why must you use your freedom to discriminate against someone else?


Mother Theresa stated " If you judge someone you have no time to Love them"
As a foster mother I have had people make a snap judgement of me because they saw me with children of many different races calling me mom. I have heard people say the mean and nasty things about those who "chose to live the GAY lifestyle" What lifestyle is that?? Working, paying bills, going to the movies,volunteering their time, wanting a family. Isn't that just like yours?? My son is Gay .. That is just a very small part of WHO he is is. HE is a child of God, with an amazing ability to be a peacemaker, HE is a gifted Dancer and musician. His voice melts my heart when he sings. He is a hard worker and honest employee. Why do none of those things matter?? So many LGBTQ people take their lives because living a lie or being treated as "less than" is too painful. I am sure Christ weeps as he watches how we are treating these individuals and many times even their family who support them.

Most of us will never have to worry about which bathroom will we be allowed to use. WE don't have to worry about being fired from our job if they find out "who" we are. WE don't have to worry about being beaten up and ridiculed. We can go and marry whom ever we choose.  Stop for a moment and try to imagine life in their shoes, and maybe you can see Christ letting you know there is a better way to treat them. Love is always the answer.‪#‎loveistheanswer‬
‪#‎Mormonsbuildingbridges‬ ‪#‎areyoureallychristian‬

The Lord will lead us

This post is different from my other posts which address our journey of having a gay son and becoming an ally for the LGBT community.

The interesting part of life is that we take many different journeys that we may not have expected.
I did not expect to have to deal with 3 deaths in the matter of a year and a half . ( My dad , Step dad , and brother)

I did not expect that I would become involved in foster care  let alone adopt 2 children.

I could never have imagined how different our life would be when Aimee and I had that first conversation on our morning walk about adoption. That sparked an interest in me that lead me to foster care. I already had 4 children of my own. It wasn't that I felt the need to adopt.
I just thought" We could bring another child into our home to help them for a while"

Yes I had all those doubts and fears.
Could I do it?
What if I get attached?
How can I give them back?

The impression that this is what we should do was stronger than the fears , so we proceeded. Not sure that Wesley thought it was such a good idea, but he went along for the ride.    

Our first placement came in 2003 and boy were we in for a shock . Miss M was 5 and had been involved in the "system" for most of her life. I remember the first time we took her to church with us and they removed the white sheet covering the sacrament table. Miss M loudly exclaimed. "Who died up there"

What had this poor little one seen? What must her life had been like.?
Needless to say that placement  was a trial by fire, and we almost decided to hang up our Foster parenting hat. After approx. 6 months they moved her into a therapeutic placement as she never should have been placed in a family with other children.

the Caseworker and therapists who worked on that case apologized for the poor placement, and encouraged us to try again as this was just a rough experience. WE did so..

AS a side note, about 4 months after miss M left our home we received a call from her therapist . She explained that  Miss M would be going to Florida to live with her Great aunt and uncle. they asked her if there was anything she wanted to do or anyone she wanted to see before she left, as she would probably never be back. She wanted to come see us and say goodbye.

This gave me great pause as to the impact we can have. This child created so much chaos in our home. I can honestly say I did not really like her very much. I cared about her and wanted her to be safe, but realized that some of these children needed more than I could give them.

Yet in that brief few months she felt something that she had not before . I can't speak for her as to specifically how she felt, but since her Biological mom, grandma,  Aunt and Uncle all lived here, and whom she had spent most of the first years of her life with , yet she did not want to see them.
She wanted to see us. We had given her .... love, hope, safety.

I realized what we do matters. I could make a difference for a child whether it was for 2 days 2 months or 2 years.

So we continued on our journey. Ultimately fostering 43 children. 2 of whom we adopted.
We never intended to adopt, but the saying is. IF you foster long enough you will end up adopting.

1 Nephi 17:13 says...  And I Will also be your light in the wilderness; and I Will prepare the way before you if it so be that ye shall  keep my commandments; wherefore inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall be led towards the promised land; and ye shall know that it is by me that ye are led.

This scripture has brought comfort to me many times on my journeys in life. He will lead us where he wants us to go if we let him.

Our 2 new daughters did not come without challenges. One we spent almost a month in the hospital after discovering that the effects of her moms drug abuse had burnt her lungs and caused her intestinal issues. I had people who would say to me .
"Why do you stay at the hospital. It's not even your baby?"
Yes, She was my baby. I was all she had. For that specified time I had been called on to be her mom and to be there for her. I could not imagine leaving that tiny little 5 lb  baby there all alone.
Was it difficult having 5 other children at home who also needed their mother, Sure.
WE did what we felt was best. Our kids had to step up and help more, they had to look outside themselves and realize they could do something for someone else.
They learned the world did not revolve around them, and that was ok.
In this trial blessings came.
I could see that Heavenly Father led us through what I could never have imagined. I don't know that my other children were grateful at the time, but I think as they get older they can see the blessings  too.

Of course the ward was a big help also.
  

Fast forward a few years , and the challenges began to increase . Children who are born addicted and or exposed to drugs face a whole host of challenges as they grow up. WE were unprepared for the challenges that lie ahead of us. I could never have imagined how much chaos one little child could bring.
Now we had some rough cases and understandably so based on what they had experienced, but these children had been with us for a long time. Miss S since she was almost 10 months old and Miss A we got right from the hospital. They had been in our home for years now.

I had embarked on a journey that would try my patience as nothing else had. I would find myself on my knees pleading for understanding and help.
I had been a parent to over 40 children yet I felt like a failure.

I LOVED  Miss S, but I did not really LIKE her some times.  "She's so cute" people would say. Yes she is, but you try living with her.
I am sure some of you just think I am a horrible mom for saying that. It is nothing that I have not felt myself.
 But having talked to many other foster and adoptive moms , many of us have felt this. It is just the reality. Even in biological families , they are not all perfect.
It's really easy to try and give advice and judge when you don't have to live it.
Everyone's trials come in different forms.
As we continue to work with Psychiatrists , Psychologists, and therapists,  we keep trudging along on our journey.
We have highs and lows.
We seek out help.
We know we cannot do this alone.
We don't have to do it alone.
We still have a long way to go in this journey, but the experiences and views we have gained could never have come without us trusting in those promptings and allowing the Lord to lead us on this path.

Is our life different now??
Of course, but I could not imagine not having Miss S and Miss A in our family.

Do I regret it??
NO

I have learned that the Lord is aware and loves ALL of his children.
HE will put people in their path to help them.
HE was their Father before they were mine.
I may not know all the answers, but He does.
I have to try and see them as HE sees them. A precious child of God .
I have to learn more patience and understanding and most of all that HE is in charge and if I turn to him everything will be ok.

As I look at the parallels in these journeys, Foster care and adoption, and having a gay son, they are so similar.
There are highs and lows.
We don't have all the answers, and that is OK.
We just need to trust HIM  and follow the promptings that we get.
Allow him to lead us on this journey.

Go and do thou likewise

As related by Luke, a certain lawyer tempted Jesus, saying, “Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” (Luke 10:25.)

In New Testament times a lawyer was the equivalent of a scribe, who was by profession a student and teacher of the law, including the written law of the Pentateuch, and also “the traditions of the elders.”

The Savior responded with a question: “What is written in the law? how readest thou?” (Luke 10:26.)

The scholar responded, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.” (Luke 10:27.)

Jesus said unto him, “Thou hast answered right: this do, and thou shalt live.” (Luke 10:28.)

However, the scholar was not satisfied with so simple a response. Luke records that the learned man, “willing to justify himself,” asked a further question of the Lord, “Who is my neighbour?” (Luke 10:29.) And Jesus answered by telling a story:

 

“A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead.

“And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.

“And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side.

“But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him.

“And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.

“And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee.” (Luke 10:30–35.)

 

We have all heard this story and we say "sure I can help someone who is in need." But do we really understand the depth of what the savior was teaching?

 

If you look in the bible dictionary under Priest and Levite, you will learn that  the work of the ministering in the sanctuary was assigned to the tribe of Levi. The Levite’s duty was to assist the priests in their religious services. Likewise, the essential responsibility of a priest was to serve as a mediator between his people and God by representing them officially in worship and sacrifice.

These could be likened to Home teachers, Elders Quorum presidents, High priest group leaders, Bishops , stake presidents etc. For us women, you could use the equivalent Visiting teacher, Relief society president and so on.

 

The people of Samaria were a mix of Israelites and Gentiles, and they were hated by the Jews. The Jews  would walk hundreds of miles out of the way just so they did not have to pass through Samaria.

This was a group that society had decided was "less than"

 

I think there is great significance in the saviors choice of Characters in this parable.

 

So if we now re look at this, it was the Bishop or stake president that was too busy to stop and help, the home teacher that moved over to the  other side and walked on by. So who was it to stop and help, going way beyond to make sure this man who hated him and what he stood for , was well cared for?

 You insert what that is for you,...... Black, Gay , Hispanic, uneducated , inactive.

 

 

Let me leave this story for a moment. AS the events in Arizona have played out over the last few weeks regarding the Discrimination bill SB1062, this story has played out in real life for me.

Yes, I must qualify that my son is Gay so this hits very close to home, but I know many, many other LGBT individuals as well, who are laying along the roadside watching, their family members, Home and visiting teachers, Bishops,  Stake presidents, and ward members, wave the flag of Religious freedom, and see them hurting and in despair on the road as they walk on by. Those who in the name of "religion" say it is ok to decide that I should not be given the courtesy to shop where I would like, eat where I would like, purchase a home, buy a car and the list goes on. Talk about being kicked while you are down. Sure they could find businesses who would be willing to allow their patronage, but do you have to do that?

Do you have to worry about that? They are children of God too

 

  This could be about anyone , someone who is depressed, someone who is divorced, or maybe has a spouse in jail, someone who lost their kids to the foster care system, someone with tattoos or  someone who struggles with the word of wisdom. You name it there are many who we would not  normally hang out or associate with. Many who may make us feel awkward or uncomfortable.

 Do you think the Samaritan felt a little uncomfortable?

 

So back to the story....

 

The Savior then asked a further question of the scholar, “Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves?” (Luke 10:36.)

The lawyer was caught in his own cunning, but accurately answered, “He that shewed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.” (Luke 10:37.)

 

There it is in a nutshell. Very clear and plain. We are to go and do likewise ,  as the Samaritan ,helping those whom society may tell us we are not supposed to like or associate with.

 Our Neighbours.

  We can bind up their spiritual wounds by rendering needed service, or how about an offering  of friendship and supplying the soul-healing balm of genuine brotherly and sisterly love. We can try and help smooth out the bumps in their journey.

We can do as Alma taught  in Mosiah 18:8-9 

 And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are ^adesirous to come into the ^bfold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;

 9 Yea, and are ^awilling to mourn with those that ^bmourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as ^cwitnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the ^dfirst resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—

The good Samaritan spent the night with his wounded friend and stayed with him until satisfied that he was on his way to recovery. He truly cared about his wellbeing. He was not concerned with his political status,his rights, or what might happen to him in this circumstance, he was just there to show mercy, and I think more importantly Christlike LOVE!

 

I am not perfect at this, but I continue to try. I know many who do not like my opinions or approach, and that is ok, because ultimately the only one I have to answer to is my Heavenly Father and I can honestly say that I have done my best to help those I see along the road.

This is just something that I have learned as I have traveled this journey and opened my understanding to what it really means to be a disciple of Christ. To learn Who my Neighbor is and what my responsibility as a member of his church means.

 

In the end this will bring us life eternal.

What do we need to do to inherit eternal life?   Go and do thou likewise.

 

 

Mountains to climb

This is a post written by my husband Wesley the night we dropped off our 3rd son Kyle at the MTC on Feb 19th.

 

I am extremely proud of My Son, Kyle Stephens. Not just because he has decided to serve a mission. Lots of young men and women serve missions, and that is a great and noble thing, but this goes a little deeper.

When I asked Kyle if he was... nervous this morning, I was a little surprised by his reply, but only for a moment. Kyle said that he was not nervous at all, if anything, he was anxious. Now as I further explain, I want everyone to know that I am well aware of the struggles of many young men and women who have a desire to serve missions but need to do a little “housekeeping” in their moral and emotional Houses. The Church does have a pretty high standard to live up to in order to serve the Lord on a mission. The difference here is that I KNOW Kyle’s story.

When a mistake is made, there are two paths that one can follow. One path will take you down to the depths of despair, anger, indignation and selfish “Not My fault” thinking. This path is one that the adversary wants all mankind to follow so that they may suffer as he does, thinking that there is no hope. The second path is a journey of humility and responsibility, accepting the truths that are there in front of you and owning your actions and accepting the consequences. To journey down this path, one must turn toward the Savior for hope and forgiveness as opposed to turning away from the Savior. One must then Pray to Father in Heaven, who loves us with perfect love, for forgiveness, strength, guidance and peace, and this must be done in the name of Our Savior, Jesus Christ, the very One who has, in fact, already atoned for the sin(s) that we have committed. Kyle chose the path that leads to Happiness; he chose to follow the Savior.

Kyle did these things and through this “Refining Fire”, he has allowed God to shape and forge him into a masterpiece that will help to show the children of God the pathway to truth and happiness. Kyle has become my spiritual Hero.

God has a plan for each of us. God has a plan for Kyle. That plan is in action and is unfolding in front of our eyes. All the while I am feeling like Kyle is getting an unfair shake, Father in Heaven is preparing him for the glorious work that is now, the only focus of Kyle’s attention. In other words, Heavenly Father was blessing Kyle’s life and preparing him for the work of Goodness and Love.

Kyle was not nervous because he KNEW that he was where he was supposed to be. Kyle was Anxious because he knew what he was there to do and was ready to get it done. I Love Kyle and I am so proud that he has CHOSEN to follow the Savior and be an instrument in the Masters Hands.

At Kyles Farewell, he spoke about doing hard things and having mountains to climb.

We all have mountains we have to climb and struggles that sometimes seem insurmountable. The journey here was never meant to be easy, and through those struggles and "climbs" we become stronger . We become who our Heavenly Father wants and needs us to be. AS I look back at my life, I can see those times when I had a mountain to climb that just seemed like I would never get to the top, but I did. Now that doesn't mean there was not another one right behind it, but that one I conquered.

Whether it is the mountain of dealing with 2 special needs children, or trying to reconcile having a gay son and being Mormon, or just trying to keep the house clean, I knew I would have them. I may not have expected that particular climb or how hard it would be, but I knew I would have to climb them. Our saving grace is that we don't have to do it alone.
On Kyles  mission, he will have a companion at all times, physically and spiritually. We too have the companionship of others on our climbs. But more importantly we have the companionship of a very loving Heavenly Father. He can see the top, he will carry us when we just don't think we can take one more step. he is cheering us on, and hoping that we might even be able to get strong enough to help others on those same mountains.   

He's my Son

I have thought a lot this last few  weeks about the lives that our LGBT children are faced with.
Maybe it's because of the Holidays and the challenges that comes with family gatherings and such.
I realized there is so much we just don't understand. I don't think it is as simple as "just keep your covenants " as many will profess
 My heart aches for Tyler and the choices he faces. Will he ever marry and have the companionship of a spouse? Will he be able to be a father? Will people love and be kind to him, or treat him with disdain and scorn? Will he have to worry about his  family having to choose between him and  and others? What about the eternities. Will he be denied that because of who he is? Does he know how wonderful he is? Does he see the value he holds in the Lords eyes?
How does it feel to have the  church you grew up with, not accept you , and worse yet condemn you?
As a mom we want to protect and help our children, but I find myself feeling very helpless sometimes. A friend introduced this song to me at a time when I really needed to hear it's message. Take a listen and then I'll tell you a little more about my experience.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YK3JR-4Wpg

I had heard this quite some time before and loved it's message, but I will never forget the time I attended a Time out for Womens conference a couple of years ago and one of the musical artists was Dallyn Bayles. As he came out on stage to sing one of his numbers, I immediately recognized the music.

 Yes , it was Mark Schultz's He's my son. In that very moment the words "can you hear me am I getting through tonight ." rang in my ears, as he answered and said "yes I hear you. I am aware and I am here." Needless to say I sobbed through the whole rest of the song. As I realized My Heavenly Father knew the prayer of my heart. That I was concerned for my son, that he answered me in such a way as I could not deny it.
Now if you  know much about music, you know that it is not always a simple task to take someone else song and sing it in a live performance. You have to obtain rights  pay royalties and so forth, and it takes a long time usually .  The ground work for this answer was laid long before that night I would sit in that auditorium . Mr Bayles brought an answer to prayer in a very familiar way for me. Many of my prayers have been answered through music , but none quite as powerful as  this.
This song helps remind me , that sometimes I just have to turn it over to the Lord, as he is his father first. It comforts a mothers aching heart for her son. AS I have not only Tyler, but 2 more sons and three beautiful daughters whom this song could reference as well.
No, It is not the  solution to the problems of this mortal life, but it was an answer of comfort that our Heavenly Father loves ME HE loves all of us .
He  loves our children, just as they are. HE understands and will give us comfort and guidance as we seek it.
If I could take that away from him I would , but we would not be the family we are today because we have been blessed to have Tyler in our family. To be blessed to open our eyes and our hearts to so many others just like him, who are beautiful children of God .
For me I just continue to Love and to Pray and hope for a better world not just for Tyler but for all, because  He's my son!