That is a good question, and for the most part I have never really been able to answer that effectively. It is a very tough place to be. A church I love and have served my whole life, and policies that hurt and ostracize my son and so many others I have met over the last 4 years .
Yesterday in church though I had a bit of an answer come to me. As the speaker read a verse from
Helaman chapter 5 Vs. 12 And Now my sons,remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our redeemer , who is Christ, the Son of God that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea his shafts in the whirlwind, yea when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you , it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation upon which if men build they cannot fall.
This was one of those moments when I knew the Lord was answering me. Christ is my foundation. This is Christs gospel here on the earth, but it is run by men. Yes they are prophets, but they are human men and thus, are not perfect. I do not think they are trying to be mean or hurtful, but I do think that there are things that they are struggling with , and much like the situation with blacks and the Priesthood, they are going with what they think is best at the time.
That does not necessarily make it any easier as a mother of a Gay son, and a person who is actively involved in supporting and helping those in that community. I have seen first hand the devastation that this impossible situation has caused many. I have talked with mothers who have lost their children to suicide because they thought it would be better for them to be dead and on the other side , as it has been taught that they won't be gay in the next life.
I personally do not believe that.
I have received personal witness that my son is exactly as our Heavenly Father made him to be. HE loves him and is concerned for him. He sent him to our family because he knew we would love him and support him and help him navigate this difficult journey. I believe that these LGBT individuals are some of the most valiant and strong spirits, as they knew what they would face when they came here to earth and they willingly did it.
I think the real test is for the rest of us.
How are we going to treat them?
How are we going to reach out and serve some of the "least of these" ?
AS I think back, this continues on the thoughts I had in my previous post Are we really Christians
I attend Church because I love my Savior. I am eternally grateful for all he has done for me. I take the sacrament to renew my covenant I made with HIM . To take upon myself his name, to bear one anothers burdens, to mourn with those who mourn, and comfort those who stand in need of comfort.
I do my best to fulfill my calling because I know that is what HE wants and expects of me.
I know he loves me. I know he loves ALL of my children, even when they are disobedient and won't do their dishes or clean their room.
I know that the Savior is mindfull of those who are struggling and can't see a way out. For those who are hurting so badly that they see no other way to peace but to take themselves from this life and take their chances it will be better on the other side.
I love this picture and what it represents. They savior kneeling down to heal and comfort the woman who was taken in adultery. She recognized the power of the Savior and looked to him for redemption and healing and he freely offered it. It was no one elses place to judge and condemn her. Only he knows her heart, and he willingly offers healing.
I too am not prefect, just ask my kids .
But everyday I pray to my Heavenly Father and ask him to guide me in what he would have me do. Where can I be of service. It has taken me to many places I would never have imagined.
But I can say with a firm conviction that I am doing what he wants me to do,
As I reach out and do my best even when I too am afraid and confused, and sometimes even angry, I feel the peace and comfort come of knowing I am the Lords hands and heart here on earth administering to some of his precious children.
That it is ok to have questions and not have all the answers.
That sometimes it is important to just be obedient until the answers come.That I can find strength and comfort in knowing that my foundation is sure.
Sometimes those mighty winds that swirl around us come from our own congregations. The Gospel is true, but it is run by imperfect people who make up his Church.
If we build our foundation on the institution that is the church, it is much more difficult, but If we build on the foundation of Christ and his gospel, we will always be safe. WE can find a steady footing on that foundation fo the Savior even when the church seems to be tossing us about.
In Moroni 10: 20
Wherefore, there must be faith; and if there must be faith there must also be hope; and if there must be hope there must also be charity.
21 And except ye have charity ye can in nowise be saved in the kingdom of God; neither can ye be saved in the kingdom of God if ye have not faith; neither can ye if ye have no hope.
I have Hope in my Savior that somehow this is all going to work out,
I try everyday to exercise Faith, and develop and show more Charity.
Thankfully we have the atonement that allows us to start over again and again. So for now that is how I move forward each day.
That is what my foundation is.
In 2Nephi 26:33 Our Savior invites us “to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female; … all are alike unto God.”
